“Do not let any worthless or abusive talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:29-32)

Our tendency toward fear at times like this is understandable. I get fear over the virus. I get fear over the economy. Yet, out of these fears flows a dismissiveness toward either the seriousness of the virus (for the sake of fiscal health) or economic concerns (for the sake of physical health); resulting in a conflict between which fear is to trump the other.

Fear can cripple us. Fear can drive us. In either case, fear blinds and controls us; often numbing us to the humanity of the ‘other.’ That is what I see happening day in, day out all over social media; fueled by its relentless proliferation in mainstream media throughout every waking moment of our day. We’ve reduced ourselves and others to ideologues, abstract platforms and simplistic caricatures that allow us to bite and devour one another. It’s divisive. It’s destructive. But worst of all, it’s dehumanizing.

If you don’t have an immediate family member with a compromised immune system or other risk factors, you’re in a privileged position.

If you haven’t missed a paycheck, lost job, or been subject to the decimation of your industry over the past month, you’re in a privileged position.

If you haven’t had a loved one on a ventilator; or serving in healthcare or law enforcement at this time, you’re in a privileged position.

If you haven’t carried the responsibility of meeting payroll or laying off employees or faced the loss of your business and livelihood over the past month, you’re in a privileged position.

If you haven’t been in a position of authority and forced to make unprecedented decisions on behalf of entire populations or sectors of the economy, you’re in a privileged position.

The fact of the matter is this: it is easy for us to sit behind the relative comfort of our screens, in privileged positions that allow us to incessantly criticize the motivations and decisions of the ‘other.’ This is a cultural moment that none are exempt from at some level. For better or worse, we are all connected in this. How this all plays out will ripple through every layer of society, vocation, and relationship for years (possibly generations?) to come.

We are inundated with numbers, ‘facts,’ and no shortage of ‘expert’ opinions from every side of the coronacrisis. Both first-hand accounts and theories abound about how serious or not-so-serious this all is. The streams of curated information we respectively drink from are vastly polluted, poisoning our wells so that we dispense death rather than life toward others.

There is a better way. It is the way of empathy. Empathy is the ability to look at another’s choices, views, or circumstances from their perspective; to attempt to identify with what they are feeling and experiencing; to better understand what moves them; an effort to move toward them with a loving posture, even if you ultimately disagree. Whether or not you are naturally given to empathy, empathy is something you can foster. It’s something we all need to practice more, especially as we enter into a ‘Brave New World’ of sorts in our age of increasingly impersonal interaction.

There are several key practices for cultivating our capacity to empathize with others. Learning to listen well and practice intentional curiosity is a good place to start, especially when it comes to interactions over social media. These two practices involve really trying to hear what the other person is saying and better understand where they’re coming from. When we genuinely attempt to hear what the other person is saying, we are in a place to ask clarifying questions that allow for civil discourse:

“If I’m understanding you correctly, I hear you saying ‘X,’ is that right?”

“You said ‘Y,’ I’m not sure I understand where you are coming from, can you further explain that to me?”

“What makes you believe that ‘X’ is true?”

“Have you ever considered the possibility of ‘Z’?

“What is your primary concern with ‘X’? Why is ‘X’ so important to you?”

“That is a valid concern, but what could be the implications of ‘Y’ on …?”

Instead, we are prone to react with a verbal barrage on our ‘friends’ based on faulty-perceptions and shallow assumptions. And so a futile back-and-forth ensues, often resulting in silent ‘unfollowing’ of the other (“Let’s remain friends, I just don’t want to see or hear from you anymore.”).

This is about more than being right or even polite, it is about preserving the sacredness of our humanity both in how we speak to and about others, as well as how such tendencies shape our own souls. Here, may the deep wisdom of C.S. Lewis inform how we relate to friend, neighbor, and enemy alike:

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”

C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, p. 45.